| Every minute with you, i feel like i can do... |
[3.14.10(3:45am)] |
| [ |
mood |
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 peace |
] |
I love you friend (:
Honestly march hasn't really been an angel to me.
I'm filled with sleepless nights,
And filled with too many things on my mind.
Dear march, stop being a bitch.
Dear friends, I know who the real ones are.
Dear bitches, fuck off. (:
P.S. I wanna see you on the stands <3
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| I can't say it but it'd be good if you were to read it. |
[1.18.10(11:33am)] |
Time, is going by, so much faster than I
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of here with you
Now I'm wondering why I've kept this bottled inside
So I'm starting to regret not selling all of it to you
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know
You're never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall
You're never gonna be alone, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone
And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands
'Cause forever I believe
That there's nothing I could need but you
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know
You're never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on
We're gonna see the world out, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone
Oh, you've gotta live every single day
Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Don't let it slip away, could be our only one
You know it's only just begun, every single day
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Tomorrow never comes
Time is going by so much faster than I
And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you
You're never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on
We're gonna see the world out, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone
I'm gonna be there always
I won't be missing a word all day
I'm gonna be there always
I won't be missing a word all day
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| Venting it out now. |
[12.17.09(9:45pm)] |
I believe that the worst came upon me tonight. I should have known that this was going to happen, before I stepped into RP. It’s been long and the field had the same aura; something that I had to give up now.
How could I be so stupid, thinking that by bowing my head to you asking you to help me when you knew I wouldn’t do something like that?!?! I thought about it for countless nights. I know that this sport is something I see myself doing in the future. But words you said tonight ruined it. I told you that I’m apologetic to my parents for what I have done. Skipping school and all. The only thing that you said to me was that it was my fault, not my parents?! I’m sorry for venting it out here. But I thought you would talk to them on my behalf. I told you that rugby has been my life, I feel myself when I play the sport. In a feeble attempt you just told me with a smile that I should coach and ref, to be involved. I sucked my ego when you drew me the player analysis, I told myself that it was an opportunity to play better. You put me down the other time, but yet I was so stupid to think that you wouldn’t this time round.
I made myself meet your superwoman requirements. The impossible, and yet all you could do was to tell me to stay out of the team for now. IVP is coming up, I missed it last year due to your high requirements, I told myself that this year was the only time to prove to myself, and to you. But you stopped that from happening. You crushed the dreams of many all the time, and you could still think that it’s the best for everyone.
As I waited for my team mates to have their break you told me to study hard, asked me to hurry go home because I can’t stay. I thank you for that gesture but you’re as heartless as a beast. I couldn’t stop the tears running down my cheek as I went home. Home is the last place I would seek refuge when I’m in doubt. I’m sorry RP rainbows. I’m sorry to let you down. But this time round, I wouldn’t sit and get back into cunning hands. You’ve changed Boo. I’m sorry.
You’re a fucking bitch. I can never let myself forgive you.
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| Decoy dreams |
[11.04.09(11:13am)] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake and miss you.
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me.
I'd send a postcard to you dear,
'Cause I wish you were here.
When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here.
Come on Amanda. I know you've got the optimal solution this time round. Fly me in a hot air balloon.
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| Shit! |
[10.13.09(11:40am)] |
| [ |
mood |
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 burnt |
] |
I feel so fucked up. Damn it.
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| Confusion |
[10.13.09(11:03am)] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
Even if the sky is falling down like she 'posed to be,
She gets down low for me,
Down like her temperature, cause to me she zero degrees,
She cold, over freeze,
I got that girl from overseas,
Now she my miss America
Now can I be her soldier please,
I'm fighting for this girl,
On a battlefield of love,
Don't it look like baby cupid sending arrows from above.
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| Addiction or temptation? |
[10.08.09(10:15am)] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
If someone you love told you to wait to get another hug and a kiss,
would you wait or would you find someone else?
I'd wait till you walk to the end of the rainbow and back.
If my heart was a compass you'd be North.
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| // her other half intruding |
[7.26.09(1:11pm)] |
| [ |
mood |
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 mischievous |
] |
I was reading all the entries, and I just realized this livejournal is pretty sweet & cute (:
16 June 2008. Starbucks. Muffin. Frap. Java chip. hehehe oh manz so sweet! I remember our webcam photos, omg we had so much fun and you gave me sugar rush! (: and all the other dates we had... I kinda miss them and I'm looking forward to our coming dates k?
July is really slow. Creeping into August. "I'll always be there for you, without a doubt."
That statement still remains (:
Hokay I'm just being random here!
xoxo hugs & kisses
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[3.14.09(11:10pm)] |
| [ |
mood |
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 determined |
] |
I can't seem to put it on msn for you but here it is, all that i have to say to you... :D
i miss you loads. We'llbe fine, i promise. We'll just have t work together ok? :) I don't know what else t say t you but all i know is that we both are in love w each other and no one can change that. So don't let your thoughts, questions and doubts get the better of you k? We can do it <<3 im so sure.
It's just another hurdle and rmb you promised t be there for me anytime and everytime? Thanks baby. Having you has made me change alot and that's for sure. It's a difficult period for the both of us, most prob you i guess cos im pulling you into the mess im in w my family right now and im sorry about that. A little more time is what i need and im sure you can take that bit of time out of the forever that we're ginna spend together right?
I LOVE YOU AND I WANNA MARRY YOU!! It's not a habit to say this but i can tell you that it's a fantasy, always has been. I wish to make it into another dream made reality :) Live with you, be the first and last one to see you everyday is all i ever dream of. I really really and sincere about taking your hand someday love. My life would then, be perfect :)
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| Dear Babyg, |
[3.06.09(12:49am)] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hopeful |
] |
I miss you, terribly too much?
And I really wished I could see you today.
It would be great if we could meet for dinner after I return, but I guess you can't.
I desperately want t throw you my hug.
xoxo.
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| Check this out |
[1.06.09(10:01am)] |
| [ |
mood |
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 creative |
] |
This is a random post I decided to blog about. Well, life always has choices and each choices has their concequences. If, for example, you choose A, it might not be everything you expect it to be. You tell yourself, what would have been the situation if you had chosen B or C instead. Right? The clock keeps ticking, the the waves keep brushing onto the shore. There's no turning back. Too profound? Check this out. A friend asked me this, saying it was just for a survey. Hmm. With much thinking, it's more than it meets the eye.
You are driving along in your two-seater car on a wild, stormy night and it is raining heavily. Suddenly you pass by a bus stop, you see three people waiting for a bus: 1) An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2) An old friend who once saved your life. 3) The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car? Reason for choice?
(If you wanna answer, please do so.) Someone once said. Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery.
TODAY IS A GIFT. That's why it's known as present. (:
Find a day to help someone. In turn, someone will help you one day.
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| Confused |
[12.11.08(10:45am)] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 love |
] |
As I read y previous post, I realised that I kept saying how much I need a break from rugby. Now that I am having a temporary seperation from the sport of my life, I can't wait to get myself back into the game. I wanted a break, not a seperation. Sometimes, I really wonder what life has got for me. It's so worrying these few days, I just wished that everything can go just the way I want them to. I've not wanted anything too much to ask for, but I feel that there's nothing much in store for me now, cos it's like I'm facing all of the worst in this month. Someone cast a spell on my mother this Christmas please, I pray that she'll be nice forever starting from now.I seriously hate my life now, putting someone into this situation too. Sigh. I cry every night and I always wonder why I can't get you to lead a better life with me. I love you just too much for me to explain, just promise we will never end. My family is driving me nuts. Please let my mum wake up and let me go back to rugby.
My very long Christmas wish with one that completes it all. YOU.
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| Confused; tired |
[12.03.08(9:50am)] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
i think it has been a while since I blogged at my lj account. These few days has been really draining. Well, busy with the usual stuff.
Rugby, Rugby and RUGBY
i don't know what else is there in store for me. But I reckon I'd want to stay at home and rot my ass of my couch. Me and V are looking for a job. Probably at Borders. Guess what, the airport called me. Should I work or should i not. It's good exposure for me and I think that there's nothing else that I want to do when having holidays. Mixing around with people and going around S'pore. But there's one thing in my mind that's stopping me from joining them... :(
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| i don't get it |
[11.18.08(4:31pm)] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
Sometimes I don't know how I am thinking.
But it seems like no one's there for me again.
I tried to change the outcome.
But I felt so stupid in the end.
Tell me if I'm wrong cos I think that I am right.
I never knew how you really felt.
Never now, never will?
I hate this whole week. Just a day and I can't take it anymore.
But I sill wanna continue changing the outcome.
You know I love you, don't you?
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| tired |
[10.22.08(11:05am)] |
| [ |
mood |
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sigh |
] |
Was at SP yesterday for friendly. I feel that somehow, my body is starting to turn into a turmoil.
It's hurting everwhere, my back and all.
Somehow I actually believed that my back was doing alright.
It sucks to feel this way though, to know that sometime I fail to understand my own body.
Even till now,i'm still procrastinating if i should go for the operation.
Yeah, for my tonsils.
Sometimes i do hope my parents can be more understanding and caring to me.
I know since young I've never had the treatment i want when audrey and Andrea gets the best,
I still care and love my parents. After all they're the ones who instilled some discipline in me.
So I still have to thank them for tis discipline as I can have the phrase head prefect in my testimonial.
But still they should at least try to let me lead a good life with my 2 other sisters.
Life sucks for me.They even took away soccer from me. But Thank God i have friends and Rugby.
After all that has happened, i know at the end of the day the people who are beside and behind me will always be there.
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| URGH!! |
[10.17.08(10:56pm)] |
| [ |
mood |
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crappy |
] |
Am i not that important?
I'm taking it one step at a time.
But I'm still going nowhere.
I can't find a reason why.
I need you by my side.
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| :) |
[10.10.08(4:36pm)] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
determined |
] |
Anyway, i sent the SAF form already. Now, I'm just waiting for them to call me for the interview.
I'm looking forward to my future there. Well, pass the interview and make it in there.
Got nothing much to say now but I just want to find ways to get a job during the week's holiday so that I can save up money for something important to me next month. I'm going give all it takes just to just some money without my mother knowing because I don't want money to be taken buy my mother. It's so important to me I'm going to do anything it takes.
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ab_lur_vic's journal
